This piece is the result of my dream on Saturday Night. Yes I didnt go out to see doctors, rather i decided to sleep for eighteen hours and see may weird day dreams. One of the idea which mind got engross in thinking Indian's way of bearing witness and Buddha way of Vipassana.
The disticntion and integration was quite clear when I woke up but its been a day and mind mind is till hazed with things which I call rust of life . There are two big and black flies roaming near my computer. I think flowers are their fascination. They make strange noise. I wanted to write more more unfotunately rust of daily lives are effecting me so let me go and I will write rest later
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Smell of piss
"Howz the bathroom" I asked ,"it was ok, you did good job, just a smell of piss, a bit like homelessness you know !" She replied .It was not out of context response, since she is totally freaked about cleanliness of bathroom . Whenever she comes to our store in a night , she categorically asks for rest room cleaner and hand towels to clean the rest room.
She works at nearby Starbucks store and comes to 51st store in late in the night and completes her assignment on her big screen Toshiba notebook. That night she was covering Ruby's shift. Ruby was playing goddess of death in Halowean parade so she could not come to work that evening. I mostly work at night so most of my job contains cleaning pastry case , bathroom and lobby slide and mopping. I generally clean bathroom nicely but it takes few minutes to make it smell like a piss .
Her comparison of smell of piss with Homelessness was quite striking in my head. This city has major problem of homeless people, I guess We call them begger in India and New York call them Homeless. I have special relationship with homeless people. My night shift at Starbucks has made me very good acquaintance and friend with many people. For example De is fat , black and bearded man who sleeps at corner table of our store in the night though sleeping is prohibited in our store but there are humanitarian considerations.
One night in last winter in New York, I played as homeless person near Houstan street. It was paid assignment from Columbia School of Social Work, So that was my another experience of knowing homelessness in New York city.I am not aware of that study about exact number of Homeless people in the city but for it was different and chilling experience because that whole gave me a meaning of homelessness.Think about a situation where One doesnt have place to go except public space . My other good friend was Ray. He was young and smart man , who used to ask for cents near Caronet Pizza at 111 STREET and Broadway. We became very good friend, I still remeber the promise of having dinner with him.
When I used to Work with Greenpeace in Mumbai, I had good friendship with one boy of 10 years old. My team and that boy used to have bada pav sometimes together . I think his name was Mukesh. Very intelliegent and clever boy , who used to call me sometimes on my cell phones ask about my whereabouts. Sometimes I think about him and ask myself what a great hypocrite I am.He had gang of six or seven boys and girls together and they were masters of Churchgate area . Many times I used to treat all them one bada pav.
His friend Barnard, I heard he died few years ago. He used to sit near Rhythm house at kala ghoda area, . he was also drug peddler, he had his family . Old husband and wife and their son who used to beat his wife some times. Their sole income was drug and monetary begging from patrons of Rhythm house . Munni was our darling. their youngest daughter of two years old. They used to treat her like golden queen because she very cute and smart for their begging purposes.
Munni , that was her name .................
She works at nearby Starbucks store and comes to 51st store in late in the night and completes her assignment on her big screen Toshiba notebook. That night she was covering Ruby's shift. Ruby was playing goddess of death in Halowean parade so she could not come to work that evening. I mostly work at night so most of my job contains cleaning pastry case , bathroom and lobby slide and mopping. I generally clean bathroom nicely but it takes few minutes to make it smell like a piss .
Her comparison of smell of piss with Homelessness was quite striking in my head. This city has major problem of homeless people, I guess We call them begger in India and New York call them Homeless. I have special relationship with homeless people. My night shift at Starbucks has made me very good acquaintance and friend with many people. For example De is fat , black and bearded man who sleeps at corner table of our store in the night though sleeping is prohibited in our store but there are humanitarian considerations.
One night in last winter in New York, I played as homeless person near Houstan street. It was paid assignment from Columbia School of Social Work, So that was my another experience of knowing homelessness in New York city.I am not aware of that study about exact number of Homeless people in the city but for it was different and chilling experience because that whole gave me a meaning of homelessness.Think about a situation where One doesnt have place to go except public space . My other good friend was Ray. He was young and smart man , who used to ask for cents near Caronet Pizza at 111 STREET and Broadway. We became very good friend, I still remeber the promise of having dinner with him.
When I used to Work with Greenpeace in Mumbai, I had good friendship with one boy of 10 years old. My team and that boy used to have bada pav sometimes together . I think his name was Mukesh. Very intelliegent and clever boy , who used to call me sometimes on my cell phones ask about my whereabouts. Sometimes I think about him and ask myself what a great hypocrite I am.He had gang of six or seven boys and girls together and they were masters of Churchgate area . Many times I used to treat all them one bada pav.
His friend Barnard, I heard he died few years ago. He used to sit near Rhythm house at kala ghoda area, . he was also drug peddler, he had his family . Old husband and wife and their son who used to beat his wife some times. Their sole income was drug and monetary begging from patrons of Rhythm house . Munni was our darling. their youngest daughter of two years old. They used to treat her like golden queen because she very cute and smart for their begging purposes.
Munni , that was her name .................
Sunday, October 14, 2007
World Social Forum Mumbai to 62nd General Assembly New York
Its 3.28 am in the morning. What a dreamy day it was . Why I slept the whole day? Because I enjoyed seeing my Nani, mother, brother and Papa in my half asleep consciousness. every time I closed my eyes I entered into a different world which was so beautiful and full of warmth, a different world where I saw my nani in immense pain, i started crying and suddenly my phone rang, . It reminded me of a real world .
It was call from Paris. Such a long time and I didnt speak to Satyan sir, There is connection between him and me which is spiritual in nature and I felt content after talking with him for half an hour, however that phone was interference in dream sleep of the day . Martial came around seven and left for club after having dinner , I kept lying on sofa and thinking about my parents and few girls. I also started working on my project which is due on Monday. Here I am working relentlessly (oh such a lier i am ) for the IFRC Project .
Coming back to the topic of this blog .. Just now received email from world social forum . They have my name from the days when I participated in annual world social forums in Mumbai in 2004. It was amazing time, i met few life long friends like Pol, Magali and Naoko . I still write to them and receive their warm messages from time to time.The organizers of world social forums have changed their design of annual meetings and now they organize polycentric forums which is supposed to more productive and environmentally friendly. This also goes with idea of decentralized and empowered meeting where people can feel connected. Actually from Mumbai Social forums , where it was debated that the very core of values they oppose how they can practice the same values of centralized and alien organization of meetings , so they made it decentralized in another two years. As a result now we have regional World Social Forums , for example In Africa , Asia etc .
When I participated in Mumbai World Social Forum, I was overwhelmed to see people from all over the world in that great celebration of culture and alternative life styles. It was colorful and people's gathering, for where those who afforded to come, a touristic flavor captured the moods in streets of mumbai. It was special occasion for me to witness that extra ordinary sangam of people from all over the world.
When I compared this event with 62nd general assembly session at UN with World Social Forum in Mumbai, it has very similar architect and mood. The differences are obvious, Nation States are unit of UN systems, whereas people's organization and single individuals are members of World Social Forum. Individuals who can afford to buy plane tickets, have accessibility to passport and convincing claim that they can get visa from another country. They were the people who participated in World Social Forum . They claim another world is possible, three years later a representative from some country made speech in a general assembly while I was sitting as observer on behalf of IFRC, refering to World Social Forums, that another world is possible.......
What a strange coincidence when Nation States referred to its alternative forum's slogan as reference points.
Any slogans and symbols can be used by clever people to promote their motives. from swastika to Nietzsche to another world is possible . ......
Why the unsaid is always powerful than said? why the power of unknown is vaster than known, why when say something it becomes small and vulnerable to other 's manipulations? why democracy which make protest as standard method become teeth less, for example we have place or designated space to protest in mature democracies and these protests doesn't generate much impacts that media headlines , why we are so impotent ? why we are loosing the meaning of democracy by becoming indifferent to its lethal weapons, or we need another Paul Alinsky who can write the rule of radicals again to awake us from within..........
It was call from Paris. Such a long time and I didnt speak to Satyan sir, There is connection between him and me which is spiritual in nature and I felt content after talking with him for half an hour, however that phone was interference in dream sleep of the day . Martial came around seven and left for club after having dinner , I kept lying on sofa and thinking about my parents and few girls. I also started working on my project which is due on Monday. Here I am working relentlessly (oh such a lier i am ) for the IFRC Project .
Coming back to the topic of this blog .. Just now received email from world social forum . They have my name from the days when I participated in annual world social forums in Mumbai in 2004. It was amazing time, i met few life long friends like Pol, Magali and Naoko . I still write to them and receive their warm messages from time to time.The organizers of world social forums have changed their design of annual meetings and now they organize polycentric forums which is supposed to more productive and environmentally friendly. This also goes with idea of decentralized and empowered meeting where people can feel connected. Actually from Mumbai Social forums , where it was debated that the very core of values they oppose how they can practice the same values of centralized and alien organization of meetings , so they made it decentralized in another two years. As a result now we have regional World Social Forums , for example In Africa , Asia etc .
When I participated in Mumbai World Social Forum, I was overwhelmed to see people from all over the world in that great celebration of culture and alternative life styles. It was colorful and people's gathering, for where those who afforded to come, a touristic flavor captured the moods in streets of mumbai. It was special occasion for me to witness that extra ordinary sangam of people from all over the world.
When I compared this event with 62nd general assembly session at UN with World Social Forum in Mumbai, it has very similar architect and mood. The differences are obvious, Nation States are unit of UN systems, whereas people's organization and single individuals are members of World Social Forum. Individuals who can afford to buy plane tickets, have accessibility to passport and convincing claim that they can get visa from another country. They were the people who participated in World Social Forum . They claim another world is possible, three years later a representative from some country made speech in a general assembly while I was sitting as observer on behalf of IFRC, refering to World Social Forums, that another world is possible.......
What a strange coincidence when Nation States referred to its alternative forum's slogan as reference points.
Any slogans and symbols can be used by clever people to promote their motives. from swastika to Nietzsche to another world is possible . ......
Why the unsaid is always powerful than said? why the power of unknown is vaster than known, why when say something it becomes small and vulnerable to other 's manipulations? why democracy which make protest as standard method become teeth less, for example we have place or designated space to protest in mature democracies and these protests doesn't generate much impacts that media headlines , why we are so impotent ? why we are loosing the meaning of democracy by becoming indifferent to its lethal weapons, or we need another Paul Alinsky who can write the rule of radicals again to awake us from within..........
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Smell
That smell which iscoming from the earth, its from grass, fills the nostrils with freshness,
other other smell which comes from tracks of subway, its so filthy and rotten ,
when i entered the campus , there was sound of gharrrrrrr...and smell of fresh green grass near our sundial ...........white pigeons are playing around. few people are doing exercises of Falun gong near the GReek goddess of Alma mater ...........
It has been powerful morning when i found myself with the feeling of sudden surge of confidence . how transitory these states of mind are .........I found myself puzzled with existence arround, probbaly its the effect of this beautiful morning ........which captures me with force of belonging and my sheer meloncholy of night goes away .
I am the man ready for day...which is corrupt , nasty manipulative,busy chaotic, insane .........but thats the beauty ...............
other other smell which comes from tracks of subway, its so filthy and rotten ,
when i entered the campus , there was sound of gharrrrrrr...and smell of fresh green grass near our sundial ...........white pigeons are playing around. few people are doing exercises of Falun gong near the GReek goddess of Alma mater ...........
It has been powerful morning when i found myself with the feeling of sudden surge of confidence . how transitory these states of mind are .........I found myself puzzled with existence arround, probbaly its the effect of this beautiful morning ........which captures me with force of belonging and my sheer meloncholy of night goes away .
I am the man ready for day...which is corrupt , nasty manipulative,busy chaotic, insane .........but thats the beauty ...............
Saturday, October 6, 2007
This Saturday 0ct 06/07
Came home from work around 6.30 am, Cant remember the exact timing. Situation of my present life has left me with so much of occupation that i cant be aware of time which is flying so fast. I have some grey beard, other day Laura reminded me of my grey beard, its really strange , I am just about touch that golden line of Youth 30 soon, but looks far older in my appearance .
Though my charm of eyes and laughter remains the 16 years old boy but my body and hair reflects the ultimate sign of time.
My living room is like a court yard, our house is not that great but it has a sense of space which could be illusioning in first glance as garage but when one get used to sitting at this amazing sofa and looking at sun like today i am doing in this beautiful afternoon, he can feel at home. Martial and I am thinking about changing the place but out rotten economics and consummate life dont allow us to look for further alternatives.
Actually Kafkasque situation of Gregor Samsa can happen in our time and our life too, where we cant do much. Our jobs earnings are soo meagre that we think twice in going out, buying cloths and this fuckin expensive internship with Inter national Federation of Red Cross and Red Cresecent societies. This job requires pinstripe suit for United Nations General Assembly sessions . I dont get thing paid though attending in sessions are exciting and bit of passive exercise. Exciting in the sense that Its great gathering , all the nations top representatives make their presence in the historic GA hall where some of the passionate speeches of Nikita Khuscheve , Fidel Castro, Cheguera , Chavej, Reagan, Bush, Our own Bajpayee and Indira Gandhi has been delivered. It gives me a sense of biggerness where i feel my small existence as elevated to the ranks of head of states , chief of delegation. In other ways I always thought of getting all glorious opportunities . Its interesting to observe when i get it i already understood the futility of those glories which were my fantasies once i was a child . In my first blog I wrote about three viewers, but there is fourth viewer too, i call this observer, Buddha call it self , Hindu Rishis call Bhav of Karta, Infact all the great mystics have designed thousands of practices to watch this karta bhav.
When Socrates was poisoned, he realized this disconnect between his body and soul, he started watching how his legs are getting numb, his hands are getting numb gradually and after few hours his whole body was dead, I think by the the end of his last point of observation he realized that someone doesn't getting numb, that someone is alive and has constatntly has been watching the whole process of death .
This watcher has been my constant companion though i never watched that intensly but this watcher made me introspect my life, actions, thoughts aur sach toh yeh hai ki main apne pure jeevan ko vipassna bana dena chahta hoo, log kahente hai ki sanyas toh jeevan ke bahar hai main kahta hoon( Osho quote ) SANYAS toh isi jeevan main, joh jeevan ko jitna janega aur sense of watcher ko alive rakhega woh utna hi sanaystha ho jayega.........
Coming back to my UN General Assembly work, its passive because we all present in the GA halls are mascot of some thing going on in our offices, nations and all over the world .
Last two days were intense statement reading sessions on first ever formal High-Level Dialogue on issues of interreligious and intercultural understanding and cooperation.
It was oppotunate discussion on the subject due three reasons. First I find quite relevant since it was organized just after few days of 2nd October because UN has declared birthday day of Gandhi as World Non Violence day . Second point, its important that we are now considering religion as source of unity rather a major dividing factors in our human history. Actually there There was common sense of realization its politics which divides people not religion. after all religions were always source of unity and a vehicle to relate to some thing supreme and powerful , a bridge which relates our live to the higher cosmic realm.
Now Lets discuss with Red Cross Red Crescent movement Perspective........
High level dialoque was recognition of the fact that religion can play constructive role in reducing the conflict and building harmonious world community. I have fear that this dialoque might turn out another lip service because its success and implementation of various resolutions depends upon the degree of commitment shown by government in the future. I found there was lack of Community representatives, representatives who has grass root supports were missing the conference though there was significance presence of civil society in the conference. I would say it could been better, if our processes of including many groups have been more broader and inclusive in character. i am sure that all real community groups didnt get chance to know about the event and coming to New York is always expensive for grass root organization who has deeper linkage with community . For example representation from organization which may not have close association with Government , how we allow them to participate in the process. Off course there are issues of Sovereign Nation states which are basic unit of United Nations system, but world outside Nations state are not less powerful, if we consider the alliances and affiliations of common people .
Though my charm of eyes and laughter remains the 16 years old boy but my body and hair reflects the ultimate sign of time.
My living room is like a court yard, our house is not that great but it has a sense of space which could be illusioning in first glance as garage but when one get used to sitting at this amazing sofa and looking at sun like today i am doing in this beautiful afternoon, he can feel at home. Martial and I am thinking about changing the place but out rotten economics and consummate life dont allow us to look for further alternatives.
Actually Kafkasque situation of Gregor Samsa can happen in our time and our life too, where we cant do much. Our jobs earnings are soo meagre that we think twice in going out, buying cloths and this fuckin expensive internship with Inter national Federation of Red Cross and Red Cresecent societies. This job requires pinstripe suit for United Nations General Assembly sessions . I dont get thing paid though attending in sessions are exciting and bit of passive exercise. Exciting in the sense that Its great gathering , all the nations top representatives make their presence in the historic GA hall where some of the passionate speeches of Nikita Khuscheve , Fidel Castro, Cheguera , Chavej, Reagan, Bush, Our own Bajpayee and Indira Gandhi has been delivered. It gives me a sense of biggerness where i feel my small existence as elevated to the ranks of head of states , chief of delegation. In other ways I always thought of getting all glorious opportunities . Its interesting to observe when i get it i already understood the futility of those glories which were my fantasies once i was a child . In my first blog I wrote about three viewers, but there is fourth viewer too, i call this observer, Buddha call it self , Hindu Rishis call Bhav of Karta, Infact all the great mystics have designed thousands of practices to watch this karta bhav.
When Socrates was poisoned, he realized this disconnect between his body and soul, he started watching how his legs are getting numb, his hands are getting numb gradually and after few hours his whole body was dead, I think by the the end of his last point of observation he realized that someone doesn't getting numb, that someone is alive and has constatntly has been watching the whole process of death .
This watcher has been my constant companion though i never watched that intensly but this watcher made me introspect my life, actions, thoughts aur sach toh yeh hai ki main apne pure jeevan ko vipassna bana dena chahta hoo, log kahente hai ki sanyas toh jeevan ke bahar hai main kahta hoon( Osho quote ) SANYAS toh isi jeevan main, joh jeevan ko jitna janega aur sense of watcher ko alive rakhega woh utna hi sanaystha ho jayega.........
Coming back to my UN General Assembly work, its passive because we all present in the GA halls are mascot of some thing going on in our offices, nations and all over the world .
Last two days were intense statement reading sessions on first ever formal High-Level Dialogue on issues of interreligious and intercultural understanding and cooperation.
It was oppotunate discussion on the subject due three reasons. First I find quite relevant since it was organized just after few days of 2nd October because UN has declared birthday day of Gandhi as World Non Violence day . Second point, its important that we are now considering religion as source of unity rather a major dividing factors in our human history. Actually there There was common sense of realization its politics which divides people not religion. after all religions were always source of unity and a vehicle to relate to some thing supreme and powerful , a bridge which relates our live to the higher cosmic realm.
Now Lets discuss with Red Cross Red Crescent movement Perspective........
High level dialoque was recognition of the fact that religion can play constructive role in reducing the conflict and building harmonious world community. I have fear that this dialoque might turn out another lip service because its success and implementation of various resolutions depends upon the degree of commitment shown by government in the future. I found there was lack of Community representatives, representatives who has grass root supports were missing the conference though there was significance presence of civil society in the conference. I would say it could been better, if our processes of including many groups have been more broader and inclusive in character. i am sure that all real community groups didnt get chance to know about the event and coming to New York is always expensive for grass root organization who has deeper linkage with community . For example representation from organization which may not have close association with Government , how we allow them to participate in the process. Off course there are issues of Sovereign Nation states which are basic unit of United Nations system, but world outside Nations state are not less powerful, if we consider the alliances and affiliations of common people .
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monks Protests in Burma
I copied this photo from BBC . This is burning time in Burma. I am disturbed and keenly following the development in our neighbouring country.I think some times...... whats in a power which makes occupants dumb, shield from voices of reasons and compassion . Protests are getting bloodier and harder for monks to continue their march.........more on this later.my head is starting to remind me that I need sleep now .........
Bryant Park Incredible India Event
I met many interesting artists in the event.One of them was Hare Kishan Jee.He is Kumhar from Delhi.Long beard with deep eyes. he told me so many stories about many artist. I was mesmerized by seeing his deep engagement with mud . He was making some pot with his chakka.
I will write more on his other stories but he said one very important thing ........ Kaun khelta hain mitti se ( who is playing with mud)? He answered himself yah toh Main khelta hoon yah shyad wohi khel reha hai mujse ( Either I play with mud or mud is playing with me )
This kind of statement can only come from a person who knows the secrets of existence. A sense of egoless being can see the himself as fluid medium where existence is playing its different function.
I find his statement is very similar to decalarartion made by Prophet or Jesus where they say I am medium and someone else is coming through me. Apne aap koh parmatma main atmasaat kare dene se hi aisi bhavan aa sakti hai kyonki us awastha man main sirf karta ka bhav reh jaat hai and we all become medium of energy which is already there ..........
I will write more on his other stories but he said one very important thing ........ Kaun khelta hain mitti se ( who is playing with mud)? He answered himself yah toh Main khelta hoon yah shyad wohi khel reha hai mujse ( Either I play with mud or mud is playing with me )
This kind of statement can only come from a person who knows the secrets of existence. A sense of egoless being can see the himself as fluid medium where existence is playing its different function.
I find his statement is very similar to decalarartion made by Prophet or Jesus where they say I am medium and someone else is coming through me. Apne aap koh parmatma main atmasaat kare dene se hi aisi bhavan aa sakti hai kyonki us awastha man main sirf karta ka bhav reh jaat hai and we all become medium of energy which is already there ..........
Ahmednizad visit to Columbia
Its five thirty eight in the morning . I just came from work and thought before i go home , let me spend few hours at Lerners hall. I am having green tea which I got from my store .
Its difficult to see people at this hour in campus. I say campus in such a way that it sounds like i am still engaged as a student at Columbia University. Actaully I am since I spend quite a lot of my time in this campus.
I always thought i needed to spend more time in this beautiful place and due to lack of stable job .....I am here most of the time these days . There is sense of serenity prevails in this intellectual zone of Manhatten. What a luxury to be in school ! I find campuses are snobish and naive place in this world. Real world is far more interesting and total in content however camnpuses are here to give sense of nostalogia . I miss my JNU and TISS in way but i would never go back beacause in a way I have outgrown those place. And what a use if there are not same friends ,afterall places have complex relationship with people. Our sense of belonging and beautiful memory get shaped by people and places.
I felt bored and stranger in JNU campus when I didnt have old friends walking with me amidst all those stony pathways . Let me not get into my campus memory lane.
Going back to Topic of this post ..........
Yesterday ,President of Iran was inivited to Columbia campus.It was controversial decision to invite such a person whose reputation is shattered by western media and western human rights organization . President Bollinger has already created enormous controversy by extending invitation.
When he spoke and put some pertinent questions in front of President Ahmednizad, He sounded more like a activist and less like a president of a University . It was certainly not a humble and graceful way to welcome guest. for the name of academic freedom , Columbia President has lost the humility and at the same time sense of query which every body of knowledge must stand for. He was probably compensating the damage done by invitation. We understand that Columbia has upheld the great tradition of freedon of speech by inviting him however one has to remember that Iranian president doesnt lack platform to express his views.
Ahmednizad was bit annoyed but he kept his composed appearence. I appreciate many of his responses though his speech was clever portrayal of diplomat . He came to campus with expectation of such kind of reception in his mind .
I wont go into views expressed by him at this point since all those issues requires separate columns. I think west must go beyond the current narrow understanding of contemporary politics. Thank god to the rise to china,who is going challenge many contemporary notions of religion,democracy and market .
Its difficult to see people at this hour in campus. I say campus in such a way that it sounds like i am still engaged as a student at Columbia University. Actaully I am since I spend quite a lot of my time in this campus.
I always thought i needed to spend more time in this beautiful place and due to lack of stable job .....I am here most of the time these days . There is sense of serenity prevails in this intellectual zone of Manhatten. What a luxury to be in school ! I find campuses are snobish and naive place in this world. Real world is far more interesting and total in content however camnpuses are here to give sense of nostalogia . I miss my JNU and TISS in way but i would never go back beacause in a way I have outgrown those place. And what a use if there are not same friends ,afterall places have complex relationship with people. Our sense of belonging and beautiful memory get shaped by people and places.
I felt bored and stranger in JNU campus when I didnt have old friends walking with me amidst all those stony pathways . Let me not get into my campus memory lane.
Going back to Topic of this post ..........
Yesterday ,President of Iran was inivited to Columbia campus.It was controversial decision to invite such a person whose reputation is shattered by western media and western human rights organization . President Bollinger has already created enormous controversy by extending invitation.
When he spoke and put some pertinent questions in front of President Ahmednizad, He sounded more like a activist and less like a president of a University . It was certainly not a humble and graceful way to welcome guest. for the name of academic freedom , Columbia President has lost the humility and at the same time sense of query which every body of knowledge must stand for. He was probably compensating the damage done by invitation. We understand that Columbia has upheld the great tradition of freedon of speech by inviting him however one has to remember that Iranian president doesnt lack platform to express his views.
Ahmednizad was bit annoyed but he kept his composed appearence. I appreciate many of his responses though his speech was clever portrayal of diplomat . He came to campus with expectation of such kind of reception in his mind .
I wont go into views expressed by him at this point since all those issues requires separate columns. I think west must go beyond the current narrow understanding of contemporary politics. Thank god to the rise to china,who is going challenge many contemporary notions of religion,democracy and market .
Sunday, September 23, 2007
This is the first time
One of friend says that I am born late,
This blog is enough evidence of that statement. for last twenty years (Yes I am that old now and I have written my diaries from class third ) I have captured my sense of existence in diaries and letters till now but finally I will be writing in both the forms. Though I still paper and pleasure of writing on it most sacred act and there is sense of sanctity in writing personal letters and diaries. Let this blog be a act of sharing to others. After all how long i am going to keep things to myself.
Those diaries were never personal; I find it quite public because there is always viewer which existed inside me ,i wanted to pretend myself as great man,because one part of my being is greatly shaped by readings and i always try to transpose those readings into my own lives. for example i wanted to buy silk kurtas beacause i used to see Our former Prime minister Late Narsimha Rao used to iwear tasar silk. In the same way i wanted to look great in my eyes since I used to read great man writes diaries.
There are other reasons also responsible for my diary writings. My introvert personality and its inability to communicate to others.
Again coming back to the issue of viewers, In other words there is public eye which existed inside me. Actually I realized this amazing fact recently while reading "The unbearable lightness of being " where Milan talks about people who lives to show their life to other. some lives for unseen eyes, some lives in front of people whom they love and some lives for public eyes.
I find myself always living by unseen eyes and public eyes( I acting on the stage) at the same time I have lived by unseen eyes too. This unseen eyes always existed when I imagined as my dream partner before sleep ( This was long before I learn the art of masturbation , so please don't confuse this with sexual tones).
For example i used to see my first school girl friend as potential viewer of my actions . There was always someone who existed in my dream world as viewer.
I must get rid of this viewer, but what i am doing, by putting these thoughts into blog , I am creating a viewer ship, which is unknown and in a way public ............so who is the reader of these blog .........
you or just me (there are others who exist inside me ....... and I want to kill that other )
This blog is enough evidence of that statement. for last twenty years (Yes I am that old now and I have written my diaries from class third ) I have captured my sense of existence in diaries and letters till now but finally I will be writing in both the forms. Though I still paper and pleasure of writing on it most sacred act and there is sense of sanctity in writing personal letters and diaries. Let this blog be a act of sharing to others. After all how long i am going to keep things to myself.
Those diaries were never personal; I find it quite public because there is always viewer which existed inside me ,i wanted to pretend myself as great man,because one part of my being is greatly shaped by readings and i always try to transpose those readings into my own lives. for example i wanted to buy silk kurtas beacause i used to see Our former Prime minister Late Narsimha Rao used to iwear tasar silk. In the same way i wanted to look great in my eyes since I used to read great man writes diaries.
There are other reasons also responsible for my diary writings. My introvert personality and its inability to communicate to others.
Again coming back to the issue of viewers, In other words there is public eye which existed inside me. Actually I realized this amazing fact recently while reading "The unbearable lightness of being " where Milan talks about people who lives to show their life to other. some lives for unseen eyes, some lives in front of people whom they love and some lives for public eyes.
I find myself always living by unseen eyes and public eyes( I acting on the stage) at the same time I have lived by unseen eyes too. This unseen eyes always existed when I imagined as my dream partner before sleep ( This was long before I learn the art of masturbation , so please don't confuse this with sexual tones).
For example i used to see my first school girl friend as potential viewer of my actions . There was always someone who existed in my dream world as viewer.
I must get rid of this viewer, but what i am doing, by putting these thoughts into blog , I am creating a viewer ship, which is unknown and in a way public ............so who is the reader of these blog .........
you or just me (there are others who exist inside me ....... and I want to kill that other )
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